They Say The Grass Is Greener Over there...

Well they are liars.

At least, I think they they may be fibbing slightly.

Ok. I don't know.

Mebbe it's me but...when people say "the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence"...which fence are they on about? Is it my neighbour's fence, to the right of me? Because their grass is definitely not greener than mine. They mow it too short, so it's died over Winter.

The neighbour on the other side has patio'd his garden to death. Nary a stem or shoot dares poke it's pretty head over the side of a slab, lest it's murdered in cold blood with sodium phosphate.

So what's it all about, Sergei? I never actually peek over the 'fence' as it were, because I think that my 'grass' is better than anyone elses. Lawn, that is. Sorry Officer.

I just somehow feel that whatever everyone else is doing, I'd rather be exactly where I am right now.

At least, I think I would. But I don't know, because I don't know what they are doing. Who are they anyway? And why do they allegedly have greener grass than me? What are they doing to that grass? Why are they gardening at all? They must have better things to do with their lives. I bet they all have better sex lives than me. They certainly have nicer cars. Nicer suits. More money. Posher accents. Richer in-laws. Cleaner wheelie-bins. Smarter haircuts. I hate them - their lives must be immeasureably more satisfying, rewarding and fulfilling than mine.

But my grass is truly, definitely, actually and positively greener than anyone elses.

Groovy.