Twerpish
The Pink Princess got the present she wanted on Christmas day. Yippee-kye-ay.
Amongst the various Art Sets, dolls and other 'it won't last a week' stuff, Father Christmas bought her a really Top-Hole pressie.
Furby.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, a real, live, walking talking Furby.
In pink.
For those who have never owned a Furby, or perhaps even heard of them, a Furby is the cutest little critter to have ever graced a little girl's bedroom. They are 'Interactive' toys, which initially speak their own language - Furbish - which sounds very much like Japanese Shorthand being read out loud by a Danish Midget. But through the magic of modern technology, they slowly 'learn' the language of the child, and start to hold conversations with her.
For example.
If the Pink Princess holds the Furby and says "Hey Furby", the Furby will answer "Doo?" which apparently is Furbish for "Yes?". The child will then perhaps say "Sing me a song". To which the Furby will reply "Ok" and will start singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - in Furbish. If the child sings along with the Furby, it listens to her voice patterns, and the next time it is asked to sing a song, some of the words will be in English.
Amazing, one might think.
But it goes much, much further than that.
Oh yes.
The more times this happens, the better the Furby's English becomes, until, incredibly, it actually begins to converse with the child.
But it doesn't even stop there.
Oh no.
If an adult picks up the Furby, it recognises that the adult's voice pattern isn't the same as the child, therefore sometimes mis-understands what is being asked of it.
For instance - Yours Truly picked up the creature earlier this week, and said "Hey Furby".
Silence.
"HEY FURBY" I repeat.
"Doo?"
"Sing me a song"
"No" it replies.
"What?" says I.
"I no happy - no sing you song"
"Why Furby no happy?"
"You no love me" says the canny toy.
"Yes I do" says I.
"Cuddle me" it demands.
There are sensors on the sides, the front, and underneath it's body, so it knows when it's being picked up. So, laughing, I picked it up, and gave it a squeeze.
"YOU NO DO THAT TO ME!!" is screams at the top of it's voice - and I drop it like a hot potato.
Bloody cheek. Just as well I wasn't in a public place; I'd have been arrested. It's terrifying. It listens to your every conversation, interrupts with inopportune comments, farts (yes, it does) and screams blue murder if you hold it's sensitive parts underneath.
So now I know exactly what this annoying little toy really is.
It's an ASBO'd Teenager.
If it answers me back just once more, I'm going to tie it to an armchair, sellotape it's eyes open, gag it, and force it to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre three times.
That'll sort the little bludger.
I hope.
Sergei.
Amongst the various Art Sets, dolls and other 'it won't last a week' stuff, Father Christmas bought her a really Top-Hole pressie.
Furby.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, a real, live, walking talking Furby.
In pink.
For those who have never owned a Furby, or perhaps even heard of them, a Furby is the cutest little critter to have ever graced a little girl's bedroom. They are 'Interactive' toys, which initially speak their own language - Furbish - which sounds very much like Japanese Shorthand being read out loud by a Danish Midget. But through the magic of modern technology, they slowly 'learn' the language of the child, and start to hold conversations with her.
For example.
If the Pink Princess holds the Furby and says "Hey Furby", the Furby will answer "Doo?" which apparently is Furbish for "Yes?". The child will then perhaps say "Sing me a song". To which the Furby will reply "Ok" and will start singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - in Furbish. If the child sings along with the Furby, it listens to her voice patterns, and the next time it is asked to sing a song, some of the words will be in English.
Amazing, one might think.
But it goes much, much further than that.
Oh yes.
The more times this happens, the better the Furby's English becomes, until, incredibly, it actually begins to converse with the child.
But it doesn't even stop there.
Oh no.
If an adult picks up the Furby, it recognises that the adult's voice pattern isn't the same as the child, therefore sometimes mis-understands what is being asked of it.
For instance - Yours Truly picked up the creature earlier this week, and said "Hey Furby".
Silence.
"HEY FURBY" I repeat.
"Doo?"
"Sing me a song"
"No" it replies.
"What?" says I.
"I no happy - no sing you song"
"Why Furby no happy?"
"You no love me" says the canny toy.
"Yes I do" says I.
"Cuddle me" it demands.
There are sensors on the sides, the front, and underneath it's body, so it knows when it's being picked up. So, laughing, I picked it up, and gave it a squeeze.
"YOU NO DO THAT TO ME!!" is screams at the top of it's voice - and I drop it like a hot potato.
Bloody cheek. Just as well I wasn't in a public place; I'd have been arrested. It's terrifying. It listens to your every conversation, interrupts with inopportune comments, farts (yes, it does) and screams blue murder if you hold it's sensitive parts underneath.
So now I know exactly what this annoying little toy really is.
It's an ASBO'd Teenager.
If it answers me back just once more, I'm going to tie it to an armchair, sellotape it's eyes open, gag it, and force it to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre three times.
That'll sort the little bludger.
I hope.
Sergei.
posted by therussian | 1/11/2006 11:18:00 PM
3 Comments:
Yes, we have one too.
Although owned by youngest daughter, younger son spends more time with it.
Younger son, being only 2, doesn't yet have a full grasp of speech. And yet he and Furby appear to understand each other perfectly.
On his enrolement form at Playschool, under "First Language" it was so tempting to put Furbish... but I don't think they'd have been very amused.
I was worried at the idea of a "live" furby.
Then again, who doesn't own an animatronic Barney?
"our" Barney is now 7 years old. He still has the original batteries in, and still works despite the efforts of my sons to render him incapable.
As to things working well after going downstairs, Flipper will well remember me doing so and then hobbling to the pub.
Pub, anyone?
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